God has been challenging me with one simple question: “Do you love Me above all else?”

Will you choose Me when you find yourself desiring things of this world? Will you choose to put your trust in Me alone when your child is sick? Will you choose to spend your time with Me instead of giving it to other distractions? Will you do these things because you love Me above all else?

When I recently asked God what was grieving His heart, I heard Him reply, “My heart grieves when you try to fulfill your needs on your own—when you try to be your own Saviour. I am your Saviour—the One who satisfies your every need—and it grieves me when you choose other things instead of me.” And yet, He continues to pursue me. The other night, as I was reading the Children’s Bible with my kids before they fell asleep, God once again reminded me through the the account of the feeding of the 5,000 that I was not created to do things on my own—I was made to need Him. This is not only for life’s basic needs, but also so that I may be filled with a goodness that only He can give.

When the Lord presents me with opportunities to choose and glorify Him, I struggle not to let idols take His place. I know that only God can truly satisfy the desires of my heart, but, I often choose to look elsewhere and end up hungering for more. Because I was created with an innate need to commune with God, only He can truly satisfy my soul. My idol is looking to myself for my own fulfillment. But He has been showing me that self-fulfillment becomes very unattractive when I realize that it actually grieves the One I love. The knowledge that I have placed this idol between myself and my Saviour is what brings me to true repentance. When I stop to think of all that Jesus has done for me, my heart is changed and my gaze returns to his face. He loves me so deeply. How long can I continue to grieve Him by choosing the frivolous things of this world? Jesus is my true love. His death on the cross means that the things of this world have no hold on me and I am free to choose Him first and let Him be my everything.

“For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.”

Psalm 107:9