As part of our “For Such a Time as This” series, we will be interviewing individuals from our Calvary community about how Jesus is working in their life and in the lives of those around them through this time of pandemic. Each week we will interview someone new, based on the reflection questions provided by our teaching team in the previous blogpost.

This week, we will hear some reflections from Monika Bossart. Monika has been attending Calvary for the last six years.  She says she is currently learning how to teach junior high online (she’s a teacher!) and learning how to have the desk job she’s always wanted (not!). Monika is engaged to Jared Hulzenga and they are looking forward to tying the knot on August 1. When she’s not self isolating, Monika loves to spend time on the River Valley trails (Jared calls them her second home) or camping in the mountains. She loves to cook, read and be with people. This brings us to what she missed most about Calvary….the people! She misses her church family, the craziness of all the kids that we are blessed to have at our church, her home group, and the power of worshiping Him together as one. Thanks Monika, for sharing some of your reflections on what Jesus is doing in your life during these weird COVID days!

What does it mean to keep my eyes on the Lord?

I feel like I have been rolling through the emotions, and perhaps even the grief of what COVID is, and what it means for our foreseeable future. I miss my students (the best part of my job) and all the people that make my life so much more rich! In all of this, I am finding that my logical brain can not find a logical explanation for what this is all about. It’s difficult, and I grieve for myself and others. I grieve for the people who are less fortunate than I am, job losses, unstable home environments and the list goes on. It feels like there is very little that is constant, and within our grasp.

In my grieving, I feel God close to me. I feel His peace when my body feels anxious and his presence when I feel lonely.  I find myself discovering even more deeply the depths of God’s love for me, which seems incredibly powerful, and overwhelming at the very same time. In that love, however, I find that God is grieving with me. I am not alone. And my eyes linger a little longer on Him.

How has God fought my battles in the past?

Very recently, God brought forth a deep pain in me that I had wanted to push away. This pain involved someone very close to me, where I felt resentment, frustration and even anger, emotions that had been seeded in my heart for many years.  After another incident, and another roller coaster of emotions, I had closed myself off to the pain I felt, and also closed myself off towards moving in any direction of forgiveness. In an undeniable way, that could only be Him, He brought forth the pain I had stuffed away. Even though this was a painful experience, I also had this immense sense as to just how much He cares for me and how much He wants to see this relationship restored. It was such a beautiful reminder of how involved God is in our lives if we let Him.

What does it feel like to think that God holds me in his gaze?

I feel like there is a sense of comfort in His gaze…a sense that no matter how much this world moves outside of my grasp, He is my constant. There is a peace in that, that moves deeper than any type of worldly peace. It is a peace that overcomes the anxiety and gives comfort in this darkness.

Read the blogpost these questions were taken from here. Please feel free to encourage Monika or share your own reflections on these questions in the comments below!