Hi Everyone! My name is Kaitlyn Straub and I have been attending Calvary (as an adherent) for 10 years. I have served on the children’s ministry team for the last three years, and I run a small book club for some of the women of Calvary. Most of you probably know me through my very extroverted, very friendly son, Corbin. Some of you may also recognize the sounds of my daughter Brinley- who has been screaming since day one and has never found a reason to stop- even 1 ½ years later. Between work, small children and volunteering, I don’t have a lot of spare time but when I do, I spend it in my garden, reading or watching really bad reality TV. Here are some of my thoughts as I contemplate this week’s passage, John 4:46-54

The passage starts by stating the last miracle Jesus had done, turning water into wine in Cana. A government official in Capernaum had a sick son and had heard of Jesus. He travelled to Jesus to ask for healing for his son. He begged him to come home with him to Capernaum. Jesus responded with “Will you never believe in me unless you see miraculous signs and wonders?” Jesus sends the man home saying his son will live. When the government official is on his way home he meets servants of his household that tell him his son was miraculously healed at the exact time that Jesus told him his son would live. It is because of this miracle that the government official and his household came to believe in Jesus Messiah. The basic message of this passage tells us that a government official, someone in Herod’s service, and his household come to know Jesus by a miracle that Jesus performs.

When I read this passage the line that Jesus speaks to the government official first stands out “will you never believe in me unless you see miraculous signs and wonders?” Jesus almost sounds frustrated or sad that we are so reluctant to believe without proof. And yet the father must have had some small shred of hope or belief in Jesus or why else would he search him out? While I can relate to this statement made by Jesus, it’s not actually the part of the passage that speaks to me the loudest.

When Jesus says “Go home, your son will live”, I can imagine him saying it to the father. I can picture Jesus placing his hand on the father’s shoulder, looking in his eyes and saying with the utmost compassion and reassurance, “ go home, you will find me there.”

This really speaks to me. When I read and re-read this passage I am stuck thinking about what it means to go home in a spiritual sense (and no, I don’t mean home to heaven). This past month I have felt Jesus speaking to me, saying “When you don’t know where else to find me, go home. Go home and go back to your roots, you will find me there.”

Heavenly Father, life has been chaotic. It has been heavy with injustice, uncertainty and frustrations. In these moments of feeling untethered and feeling like I am swirling around with no direction, I am thankful for the reminder of traditions. I am thankful for the people who have written down the words that have brought them closer to you. And I am thankful that I can find you in those same words, and that you are constant.

This past month has been a very difficult one, for many reasons. Through it all, I am being drawn back to my spiritual roots (a mix of Lutheran and Brethren traditions). I am finding Jesus in liturgies and communion services, in the words of benedictions that have been spoken, prayed and sang over thousands of years. And so I will leave you with a benediction that is commonly said in closing during Lutheran services.

“The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace. ”
(Numbers 6:24-26)

Did you try out Lectio Divina this week with John 4:46-54? Share your reflections here! If you still would like to follow with our community and contemplate weekly passages of scripture with us, check out the guide to Lectio Divina and this week’s podcast or subscribe to weekly podcast releases on Apple music.