Lectio Divina Reflections (4)

Hey Calvary! My name is David Calvert and I serve as the Campus Pastor at Millwoods Christian School. My family and I (Brenda, Bennett, Audrey and Emerson), have attended Calvary for the past 2 1/2 years now. I love music and creative exploits; love reading and learning and doing life with people. Here are my reflections on the passage of the week, Psalm 30.

The passage feels in part like a declaration – loud and firm, and yet in some way feels like David is being reflective; almost speaking aloud to himself. The language is both present and past-tense. David speaks of what his actions will be now based on the benevolent actions of God previously; that even though his missteps led to slippy slopes and hopelessness, God is always faithful and unfailing toward him.

It has been quite the year for our family to say the least; life has felt upended on many fronts. In all of this it feels as though our life has resembled a snow globe, and I’m caught like the diorama inside the globe; watching helplessly as the suspended pieces of life resettle. Sometimes I feel my interpretation of life is like David’s, recognizing that some bigger picture is playing out, but only having the words for what is happening in hindsight.

It’s the space between what we know and what we are learning; where we have been and where we are going. Not just that God was here and now He is not. But recognizing Him in our journey and growth; to trust that we need these moments, these struggles to legitimize the joy and understanding and growth on the other end.

I get primitive and childish when I don’t fully understand. Anything uncomfortable or difficult or “bad” right? How could this benefit me? Times of ease and understanding equate “good”. I get caught believing these are separate things, knowing of course they are packaged together in this life, and at times sing together in unison.

It’s not that the parent has disappeared when they cover their face in a game of peek-a-boo. Nor has the sun been permanently removed because of cloud cover. I know that. Nevertheless, it’s easier to feel lost sometimes than to remember that we’ve already been found. I’m learning that God is more both/and; the shadow existing only because there is a sun.

Creator, there have been recent days that I felt sifted and disorientated; and in those moments I find myself turning to conventions I’m familiar with instead of pushing into growth and mystery.

Allow me to continue to take action, to grow in faith even when – especially when? I feel caught and suspended in things I don’t understand. Teach me to recognize Your hallmarks that are always present, and to the forgotten causes and people where Your presence leads. Cause hope to rise in me; speak to my unbelief; expand in my heart the memory of kindness you have been faithful to show me, and let me be an extension of that hope to others who feel as though they have been grappling in the dark.

In this moment, I am again reminded of the need to pause with regularity; to catch my breath and to recognize Christ in me, and around me. I’m inspired again to be deliberate with my pauses and reflection so that I can be deliberate in my actions.

May I be reminded that joy needs sorrow and that healing needs pain; that You are in the both/and, and invite me into the quagmire that I want to run from, but am compelled to find You in.

Did you try out Lectio Divina this week with Psalm 30? Share your reflections here! If you still would like to follow with our community and contemplate weekly passages of scripture with us, check out the guide to Lectio Divina and this week’s podcast or subscribe to weekly podcast releases on Apple music.

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